The brave man, we contend, yields neither to fear nor anger, desire nor agony. He is at all times master of himself; his courage rises to the heights of chivalry. Patriotism and real heroism.

Wisdom Of The Native Americans

Authentic Leadership

By James Greenshields - 3 minute read 

Are you the same person with your parents as you are with work colleagues? Are you the same person on the sporting field as you are in your home?

The general answer is no.

So does that mean that we’ve all got this Dr Jeckel andn Mr Hyde going on inside us? Or is there something bigger at play?

Does this change in personality, especially between work and home get tiring?

Is it even necessary?

In the resilient leadership work we do this is the biggest question being grappled with currently.

Many will be saying yes different personalities at work and play are necessary. Some will give an emphatic, YES! And we get why you may say this. We all tend to operate in ‘systems’ that the cultures we are part of create. So a culture values or desires something and a system will form to provide this. A computer has an operating system to provide certain functionality; the military requires instinctual obedience to the word of command to do the things it does and so imposed discipline exists; the construction industry has a series of major failures so the system of checks and balances increases. The list is endless.

There is often a belief to get anywhere in the culture you have to follow the system. I remember when in training at the Royal Military College, Duntroon, we used to have a saying – “Don’t fight the green”. This simply meant don’t try to fight the system, or what we’ve been told to do.

So what happens is we become part of the system. We change how we naturally operate or behave to be effective.

So looking at the Dr Jeckel and Mr Hyde analogy it’s important to understand that our personality is a series of learn behaviours or traits we’ve developed over time, often for self defence. The development of these traits and behaviours is preceded by a decision about ourselves. In simplistic terms a decision that certain behaviours and traits are beneficial, or not beneficial, for us.

Our assessment of our interaction with our external environment has determined how we act – in short our environment has determined our personality.

Does it matter that we’ve let our environment shape us?

Well you’re the only one who can truly answer that question.

One measure for answering the question is to look at your level of comfort in being yourself in different environments. If you find being the person you believe you have to be at work tiring, then it does matter. Your tiredness is a result of imbalance that requires energy to maintain. This in turn has an affect on your body that can most often be observed in immune system dysfunction.

Another measure is asking yourself if you feel you’re authentic. You know yourself dealing with people, you can pick up whether they are being authentic or not. But be careful of this question as we will often have the inclination to need to answer yes, because of what answering no would mean. Denial is the iceberg that sinks even the greatest of ships.

How do you know if you’re in denial? Simply look at your level of rigidity about the topic/answer. Denial breeds rigidity; rigidity undermines resilience.

But are we even asking the right question when we ask is it alright that we are shaped by our environment?

The question itself infers that it’s not because doubt has caused the asking in the first place.

My favourite Einstein quote is: the solution is never found at the same level of thinking that created the problem.

So what is another way to look at this?

I recommend asking a simple question that most of us have been trained not to know how to ask, let alone answer.

What does your true self want?

Most people find this question really hard to answer, or haven’t given it much thought in the past. We’ve been conditioned not to ask it. As a child you may have been told anything from, “you can’t have that”, “money doesn’t grow on trees”, “you have to be realisitic”, “lets be practical …” and the list goes on. All these statements are interrupted by a young mind as, I don’t deserve, or I am not worth it.

To ask, let alone answer, what does my true self want, takes a level of belief that it is possible to get an answer and that answer is possible.

To be an authentic person in all environments takes work. It requires one to first know oneself, what’s important to them, and then have the courage and confidence to live this in any environment. They therefore engage their environment rather than being ruled by it.

Early in our lives we often get on board a train. We start a career that often ends up developing into a long term pursuit within an industry that has an associated culture. The system that supports the culture grows on us to the point where we know no different. Transitioning between industries/cultures is very scary because we’ve actually forgotten who we are and therefore are uncertain of many things including will we survive in the new world.

We may ask questions whilst on the train. Should I do this? Should I take this role/job? Often not realizing that these questions are simply about changing seats on the train, not changing trains.

So ask yourself does the train you are currently on allow you to be YOU?

Inspirational people in the world know are connected to their authentic self. They know who they are and don’t let their environment dictate terms. They inspire us because we see them resonating, fully aligning, with a deeper purpose, generally above and beyond themselves.

But, “I don’t want to change the world”, I hear some say. If you’re a parent you change the world for people everyday. By just by being you it will be for the better. If you run your own business you can make someone’s world better on any given day based on how you lead. No matter what you are engaged in on daily basis you have an affect on someone. What type of affect is your choice.

If you’re going to change the world, do so with authenticity and it is guaranteed to be for the better.

As MaryAnn Williamson says:

 “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

So ask the question that gives you most freedom to be who you are.

And take a leaf out of the Lego Movie: “Everything is Awesome!

Big love